perjantai 23. syyskuuta 2011

It's not like it would be an endless state of sorrow i live in. There are lots of happy things in my life. This is at the moment a way to express those not so happy feelings, and get something done to them. Unstable personality, mainly makes my feelings a shitload stronger, and when i feel negative feelings it makes me want to get them out in a way or another as they keep growing unless i do. I also have somekind of obsession or admiring feeling on misery. Anyway, i find this as an better way than destroying something randomly. I used to get my kicks by writing and painting on public property, so i'm used to the idea, but afterall several changes in my life requested me to give up on that, plus the risk of getting caught the fourth time was always there. Old friends****************************, others paying fines for the rest of their life just for expressing their selves probably made me realize something. And at last as a dog came in to our life, i felt i really cant risk that i couldn't pay for hes medical expenses and buy proper food for him. And this was something about 4 or 5 years ago. After that i have been doing allkinds of stuff like painting at home, writing, and making tobacco smoking pipes. The period of pipes took about the last two years, probably more, of my life. This year i felt really fed up with them as i realized that they were seen only as pipes (as they really only are), and decided to try a real/another way of expressing myself. So here we are. Its not ever too easy, and i stress alot, and there's this fucking canaliscarpi making my right hand numb,but there are nice things too. I felt like saying this as the pictures are all that majority of people watching this blog see/know of me, and those aren't really giving justice to the people i love. Cc

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